Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
