you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
