you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
