i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
