return my video game
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
my liver is dry heaving
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
