Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
