if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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