the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
