Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just want to make out with him forever
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
