Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
this is an emotional support booty call
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
