There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
