Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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