remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
