Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
