is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
