yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think I just sharted jello shots
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
