Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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