Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
