He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
