His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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