i already hear my dad disowning me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
