yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize