Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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