what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
