my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
