i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize