you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
