Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
