I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
