A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
