It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
