It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
