Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
