Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So much Jack, so little girl.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
