So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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