Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
