when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
