does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
