thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
