I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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