the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
