I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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