I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
