I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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