Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
