she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
