you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
