I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Shame - the story of my life.
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