apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
