I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
