Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
