he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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