my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
