I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
