Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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