Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
