So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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