did you get engaged???
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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