You work out of a Hotel?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
